My Little Boob Man
Flickr is a site that features a single photo on your personal page and updates kind of like a blog complete with a personal profile. I registered a page for Sam, called Sam-O-Lama, about two or three months ago and like most projects I have started recently, I haven't done anything more with it. Go figure.
Sam's profile is simple. He is male, single of course. His hobbies include climbing, crawling, and boobs. Because he is too young for humility, his favorite movie is Swingin' Sam.
Maybe you can tell where this is going already.
The other day I got an email for Sam-O-Lama from his new friend, My10GallonJuggs.*** It seems as though a woman: twenty, single, with obscenely big knockers wants to be Sam's friend.
My10GallonJuggs has a clever profile, where getting to know her is "as easy as ABC." Each letter of the alphabet stands for some little randy tidbit about her ample bosom. For example "K is for Killer Kisser with Knockout Knockers."
Just in case "B is for big, bouncy b**bs begging for a boning" wasn't enough to make me cower with the realization that I have won worst mother of the year award yet again, then her pictures were.
Yes, it is true. Each boob is bigger than Sam. Really, they are NO JOKE.
I have composed no fewer than ten emails to My10GallonJuggs to apprise her of her folly. But each time I stop short of clicking send. Can you blame her for searching for "boobs" and making all those with that hobby her friends? She has a gift, a rare attribute that she has chosen to make the most out of because a certain subset of society finds it irresistible.
It is not her fault that Sam's proclivity to boobs is all about the milk. Maybe some day he will want My10GallongJuggs as his friend. But for now, I can only hope she will step away from the eight-month-old.
Because I feel bad chastising such a clever opportunist, my only defense was to post a picture of sweet, innocent Sam for all of those boob fiends to see and hope that it will be a long, long, time before he makes any new friends over the Internet.
***You might have to log on to Flickr first and search for My10GallonJuggs to see the link. But aren't you curious?